Why do this now?
Recently a good friend, part of a weekly prayer group I attend, lost her husband unexpectedly while on a ministry visit to another country. Although she handled the consequences with great grace, she was very open about how difficult it was dealing with his affairs when she found there was little order to them. One of her first struggles, for instance, was that much information was on his computer and she had no passwords.
Such practical matters are not the first things one thinks of when considering death but, for those left behind, the lack of such information represents a significant headache. So let me take you through the folder I have created for my own family. I am sure they will not find it easy when the time comes – handling practical matters in the midst of grief cannot be made comfortable. But at least I hope they will not lack the necessary information to move forward.
The folder is in eight parts:
- Letter of wishes
- Actions at death
- Bereavement checklist
- Funeral wishes
- My affairs in order – practical information
- People to contact
- Passwords
- Finances
We will consider each of these in turn. I will not, of course, give my personal details but, by explaining what each section is about, I hope you will be able to use this series as a checklist for your own situation.
- Letter of wishes
This is written to my family and after expressing my love for them I list some practical matters to attend to. Where is my will? Who should be told? Matters related to a funeral and thanksgiving service. Where to find information ie in this folder and on my computer.
- Actions at death
There are several online checklists of needed actions to be taken at death. The ones I have pointed my family to are those produced by the UK Government and also by Age UK. These are both really helpful, giving an order to things that need to be actioned or considered. Printouts are contained in section 3 of the folder.
I
have then extracted from these a list of things that need to be done over the first few days with contact details eg contacting the General Practitioner and an undertaker, registering the death.
- Bereavement checklist
As well as the checklists above I have included a printout of the document ‘Tell us once’. This is an online portal where, by providing all the necessary information, all relevant agencies such as the Tax Office or the Pensions Regulator will be informed. This will save a lot of time and potential aggravation waiting for the phone top be answered!
Next time we will consider some of the detailed information it is helpful to provide for your family and executors, such as bank accounts and where documents are located, as well as your wishes for the funeral and thanksgiving services.